A few weeks ago, Mentor George Harris Jr. of Stz'uminus approached me with a request to share a "Teachings Tuesday" with you all on this day—the two-year anniversary of his mother's passing and the one-year anniversary of the loss of his mother-in-law. During this heavy time for his family, he felt compelled to share teachings to illuminate what outsiders might observe following the loss of a loved one. Thank you, George, for helping us all learn and better understand the importance of these practices.
"As I reached the two-year mark of my mother-in-law’s passing and recently crossed the one-year mark of my mother’s loss, I found myself reflecting on the significance of hair in our lives. A moment from the TV show Yellowstone resonated with me deeply—Monica cuts her hair after the loss of her child. This struck close to home, as the first time I participated in such a ceremony was when my mother passed away. Our family visited an Elder, who cut a small portion of our hair as a symbolic gesture of respect, representing our grief and loss. While my hair was already short and the change wasn’t as visible, other family members with long hair cut off larger sections as part of this meaningful tradition.
Hair, in many cultures, holds deep symbolic value, and cutting it can be a powerful gesture. On a recent trip, I spoke with a loved one who had recently separated from their partner. After the separation, they cut and changed their hairstyle as part of their healing journey. It has been said that our hair holds memories, and as I thought about it more, I realized how often I’ve witnessed people cutting their hair after a life-changing event—whether as an act of mourning or to embrace positive change.
This practice of cutting hair has deep roots, but it carries a different kind of weight for those forced to cut their hair under painful circumstances. Elders have shared stories of how, upon entering residential schools, they were made to cut their hair. For them, this felt like being stripped of their identity. Recently, I watched a CBC News video discussing the cultural importance of long hair within First Nations communities, especially in diverse classrooms. It highlighted how boys, too, can have long hair, despite common stereotypes that long hair is only for girls. Many teachings link long hair to strength and resilience, adding even more significance to this practice.
When we notice changes in appearance within our communities, it’s essential to approach with care and sensitivity. We never truly know what someone might be going through. Whether a person chooses to have long hair, short hair, or no hair at all, it is vital to respect their journey and personal choices."
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