Harm Alarm

Last week, someone in our community asked about the term “harm alarm” — and what to do when you sense culturally harmful words or behaviours unfolding in a meeting.

It’s a powerful question. In truth, these moments probably happen more often than we realise, but they can pass unnoticed or unaddressed.

One of our community members reflected with me:

“It’s taken me two years of sitting in circle with the Mentors, listening, and learning, for me to begin to have the awareness and attunement to recognise when harm is happening.”

That awareness doesn’t just arrive on its own — it grows through practice, trust, and a shared commitment to care for each other. In our work, I see it happening in three steps:

Step One — Relationship

Before anything else, we must build sincere relationships rooted in trust. This is where safety begins. Without that bond, speaking about harm can feel defensive or accusatory.

I once asked George: “If I did something that caused you harm, would you believe that I did it to hurt you?” He said no — because our relationship is strong enough that he would know my intention was not to harm. That kind of trust makes space for forgiveness and correction.

I have been taught that in First Nations cultures, correction is a form of caring. It’s a gift — someone taking the time to help you do better. Our work is to receive those corrections with humility and gratitude, and to recognise them as an investment in our relationship.

Step Two — Learning

With trust in place, we can listen more deeply, learn from one another, and begin to see what we might have missed before.

This is where patterns of harm become visible — in words, in tone, in decision-making, in silence.

Learning in this context is not just about gathering information. It’s about practicing attunement: noticing when someone’s body language shifts, when their participation drops, when a word or phrase lands heavily. These are signals that the “harm alarm” might be ringing.

Step Three — Agreements and Action

Finally, we need to set clear expectations for how we work together and how we will respond when harm happens.

This means:

Creating shared meeting guidelines that reflect respect, care, and cultural safety.

Agreeing on the difference between calling out (naming harmful behaviour directly) and calling in (inviting someone into a conversation for reflection and change).

Deciding in advance how harm will be addressed — in the moment, after the meeting, or both.

Committing to follow-up, because repair doesn’t end when the meeting does.

This step is not about perfection. It’s about collective responsibility — knowing that we are all learning, and that our agreements are there to guide us through the difficult moments, not just the easy ones.

I asked George Harris Jr., Mentor and Knowledge Keeper from Stz’uminus First Nation, to share his perspective on this work — and he generously offered the following words:

When settlers have the opportunity to hire and work alongside Indigenous people, the very first step is to look inward. Ask yourself—what biases or prejudices might I still carry? These may have been passed down through the school system, media portrayals, or even from family members. It’s not always comfortable to confront these inherited ideas, but it’s necessary. Self-awareness is the foundation for creating a safe and respectful working relationship.

Once you’ve done that inner work, you must also ask yourself about the strength you have to stand beside Indigenous colleagues when harm happens. Because here’s the truth—it’s not a matter of if they will encounter racism or discrimination in the workplace, it’s a matter of when. Are you prepared to speak up in those moments? Are you able to interrupt harmful words or actions? Will you be a silent witness or an active ally?

Support doesn’t end in the moment of harm. The aftermath is just as important. Are you ready to help mediate the tensions that arise after an incident? Will you help your Indigenous colleague navigate the emotional and professional impact of what they’ve experienced? Support can mean many things—listening without judgment, advocating for fair treatment, and ensuring that they feel safe both inside and outside the workplace. Remember, our people don’t get to leave racism at the door when we go home—it follows us everywhere.

You also need to think about how you will address the person who caused the harm. Are you willing to ask the hard questions? To confront them in real time about the impact of their words or actions? Can you encourage reflection by asking them to see what’s wrong with their behaviour? Accountability is not just about delivering an apology—it’s about delivering a real apology, not the kind of half-hearted one you’d give a sibling because your parents told you to.

Too often, when Indigenous people make complaints about racism, our voices are dismissed or minimized. I have experienced this myself—making a report and then watching an employer bend over backwards to protect the person who caused harm, rather than acknowledging the truth. This is what allows racism to remain embedded in workplaces. We won’t create meaningful change by being passive or avoiding difficult conversations. We must call out racism when we see it, and we must call in the people who commit it—giving them the chance to learn and change. But if they refuse, then the question becomes: what kind of behaviour will you and your organization choose to allow? Who you surround yourself with says a lot about who you are both personally and professionally.

Meaningful change requires courage—not just from Indigenous people who speak up, but from settlers who choose to act.

Huy ch q’u — Thank you

Wholwolet'za — George Harris Jr | Mentor

The “harm alarm” isn’t only about noticing harm — it’s about having the courage to respond, the humility to receive correction as care, and the shared responsibility to create spaces where everyone feels safe to show up fully.

🧡 Kim